this is going to be a mess of an entry, kind of like the mess of my life at the moment.
everything was going smooth since college but maybe that was an illusion?
They held back my student loans and thats not really much of the problem but not being able to get some of my books is.
My lack of motivation at the moment, i need to lose weight or the freshmen 15 is totally on the way...i need to look at that fucking schedule and figure it OUT!
i regret the outcome of jarel kind of being a jerk and thinking im overwhelming and i understand that but i just want us to be friends and i dont know whats ok and whats not now, i dont know the boundaries i wish he would just spell it out for me.
I need to buckled down, clean up this room cause its so damn cluttered and focus on school...forget the social life, cause thats not going how i planned either.
i figured id make friends like THAT like always and be hanging out with new people all the time, but that is definatly NOT the case...i need to work two jobs soon
im working at a bar, and anywhere else and make money
so school and work, craigs not here...and maybe this will keep my mind off of wanting someone else
its not that i dont love craig
i just feel so damn pressured, i want to stay together but GO WILD!
but i cant do that without hurting him, i just want to try other boys and such...but i still want to be with him.
im so unorgnaized right now, i just need to declutter my life, get rid of what i dont need...focus on what i do need.
I dont need to go out
i need to find time to workout, do homework, work, and maybe volunteer.
so lets go do that...look at that damn schedule
ps- Bremness