2004-02-01 : nothingness entry
i dont know what to write but i know i msut write...its one of my hit me hard days...things jsut seem to be forming in front of me and i can only stand by and watch. nothing is working or rather im not working for the first time in wow i cant even remember im not going to be at my cousins bday shes going to tell me how great it was and guess what im not going to be there to join her...it sux im glad shes going to be happy and have a good bday but on mine bday nothing is happening my decision but at the same time im hoping sam and shannon and them will throw me a surprise party....i remember cassies last year lol we all gathered in the hallway sitting there with an ice cream cake and everything a sign behind us she walks into the hall and we are like SURPRISE!! i was friends with them but only really close with britt i didnt do anything last year either i know im ashamed of my age but in edmonton id be doing something WICKED!! maybe even a surprise party...who knows right. nicole cant come tonight and of course jen cant not without nicole it wouldnt be as fun i know it nicole cant come so jen wont come...to bad shannon is with sam tonight and i was crying lol baby of the year award right here i miss home a lot and i know this is supposed to be my home but in my heart im from edmonton and im slowly changing things im becomign sk8er my ream u know that kales and its cool out here but its hard adjusting its really hard but i have slice lol shes a riot with the rock hard candy ;) and of course kalie my monkey humper LMAO and angel whos really the devil in disguise and no duh for britt but she cant find her way out of a locked bathroom lol...refer for all of these meanings to prior entries...but these people are all far away and im blabbering because this is my nothingness diary i am wearing my white pjs pants with owls on them and my san francisco jacket with a let me check..wow my san francisco espirit shirt but my jacket is actaully formt here its greay and everything i have no socks on my rents jsut left and the 3 dogs are all here topsy is prob in the bathroom again scratching holes into herseld god she annoys me. called sam today i told her to let me go since tawnya called her but w/e then i called shannon her and mason broke up i was upset when i called her jsut cause ya lol u know why up there ^...anywoo she called back asked if i was ok at least she noticed sam didnt no one did cept angel and i talked to kalie this morning and i want to write something but nvm ill ttyl